Or Else…..!            3-10-10

We have all seen and heard them.

We have all known one or two or more.

We may even have been one of them on occasion.

Bullies.

They come in all shapes, sizes, and colors.  They are boys and girls, men and women. They are the people who try to embarrass, frighten, humiliate, intimidate, terrorize, control, extort, and generally make miserable the lives of others whom they have singled out for reasons that are sometimes obvious and sometimes not. They do their low, painful, and dirty work on playgrounds, in schools, in offices and other workplaces, in churches, in social settings, and anywhere else they can get away with it. The tools of bullying may be words designed to wound and scar, but in too many instances those tools morph into physical actions that can escalate from a playground shove to beatings and murder.

Think Matthew Shepard.

Bullies may say their purpose is to point out the failings of another person, but at its core the purpose is to bring another down in order to make themselves appear better than they really are.  It is all around despicable behavior, but it is very real and all around us. Whether they are used or not, laws exist to protect Americans from this bullying behavior in the workplace, but schools have historically been more tolerant with a “kids will be kids” attitude. Educators and parents have turned a blind eye toward school house bullying, hoping perhaps that the bully would grow out of it and the victim would somehow be able to throw off or heal from the wounds the bully has inflicted.

In recent years, though, adults including educators, parents, and legislators have realized that bullying really is a serious issue, one damages both the bully and the victim and that the damage goes forward with them into adulthood.

That is why anti-bullying programs have proliferated in American schools and why states, including North Carolina, have passed anti-bullying legislation intended to spell out for parents, educators, and students exactly what behavior is not to be tolerated and to provide the legal teeth to go after schoolhouse bullies.

And, Glory Be! Those programs and laws seem to be working!

A recent study funded by the US Department of Justice has found that over the five years between 2003 and 2008, the percentage of children who reported being physically bullied dropped from 22 percent to less than 15 percent. Percent is a sterile word, but remember that each and every percentage point represents children whose lives are safer, more peaceful, and more conducive to learning.

This is very good news for both potential victims and potential bullies and for the rest of us as well.

David Finkelhor, a professor and director of the University of New Hampshire’s Crimes Against Children Research Center and the lead author of the study, says he is “very encouraged.”

And why is that?

“Bullying is the foundation on which a lot of subsequent aggressive behavior gets built,” Finkelhor says. “If it’s going down, we will reap benefits in the future in the form of lower rates of violent crime and spousal assault.” Others are encouraged as well.

Marlene Snyder at Clemson University’s Institute on Family Life who works with a national anti-bullying initiative cautions that the good news is not everywhere and that adults must remain vigilant in working again bullying.

“You have to keep at it, training new teachers every year—not just training one time and you’re done,” Snyder says.  She goes on to caution that when budgets get tight, as is the case in almost every state, programs like anti-bullying efforts often hit the chopping block.

She is right, of course, which is one reason North Carolina and other states have chosen to spell out our anti-bullying intentions in statute.

When I was a student at Haymount Elementary School which was where Haymount 700 now stands, we had a schoolyard bully in our class. Blessedly, he grew up to become a pharmacist and a perfectly nice man.

When I was a student at Alexander Graham Junior High School, on the site of today’s Highsmith Rainey Hospital, I witnessed the cruelty of adolescence, especially among young girls, and hope my participation in it was minimal and forgiven.

At Terry Sanford High School, I saw the loneliness and pain of those whose fellow students had somehow decided did not fit in.

We all know, of course, that no laws can ever control or correct human behavior when individuals are determined to be hurtful or worse, but what we can do is help people understand what is acceptable behavior and what it not.  The fact that children themselves are reporting less victimization and less violence is an indication that the message on bullying is getting through.

Says Professor Finkelhor, “There is evidence these programs are effective.  I wouldn’t be surprised if we’re seeing the fruits of that.”

Hallelujah and keep the faith!